imjusagirl

2009-08-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPPPPPPPPPPY BDAY WENHAOOOOOOOO!
i know i said i wont blog here anymore, and yes, i blogged somewhere else,
but cos nobody knows, so i wanna wish wenhao here!
yes my DEAREST!
all the best in your journey of life!

<3

2009-08-19T00:24:00.001+08:00

2009-08-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

2009-08-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

freaking hell really feel like im pregnant.
every few minutes wanna vomit, urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
and nobody believe im really sick anymore, ms wang even wanna check my mc, like wth?

2009-08-17T21:20:00.000+08:00

ive been so piss with blogger this few days that i set up an account on wordpress and jus blogged over there. =.=

2009-08-15T15:31:00.000+08:00

yesterday i missed trng again.
i dontk if anyone believe me, since i did promise and yet...
but no matter how, friends are more impt than anything, even frens whom we ve just quarreled with.
i hope her knee will be okay soon, loves.

2009-08-15T09:41:00.000+08:00

i jus had a dream.
something really confusing yet wonderful.
now, i feel like crying.
why is my life so shitty?

2009-08-13T10:17:00.000+08:00

IM BACK IN SCHOOL!
:D FINE. im only gone for like half a day but, yea, i bet everyone sensed that im missing right!
lol, lame, nvm.
i miss aline, and i really wanna try and finish all of my homeworks, whadever subjects they are.

2009-08-12T12:48:00.003+08:00

definition of lucky: to be able to stay home and self study like aline.

well, actually i dont mind going to school but,

definition of unlucky:
to be hit by Tchoukball during PE, first on the head, then in the face.
at the moment, i thought i was going to faint.
then i fell down on my knees while catching the ball.
nice one yuting.
so right now im walking abt with blood patches on them.
okay, asiv all these aint enough,
i think i just saw him and guess whad i did?
turned and walked away immediately.
well done yuting =.="

to top it off, i ve been feeling nauseated since like, last week?
and really couldnt take it anymore so i just took early dismissal and went home.
damn, i really feel damn guilty.
sighs, if one can be pregnant without having sex, well then, i'd be pregnant.
my classmates been caught smoking and apparently someone from the neighbouring paotoh.
i really think these ppl has got nothing better to do.

anw, im gonna go do my homework to ease some of my guilt now.

2009-08-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

IM A GOODGIRL!!!!!!!!!
im going to slp now
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2009-08-09T22:16:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA. i spent 15bucks on ONE stupid crane machine! LOLLLLL!
and im talking abt only ONE machine. overall in that stall itself, i spent more than 20 bucks T.T
LOL! andand initially i dint get anything at all, but cos the guy thinks im damn poor thing and he jus opened the machine and pushed the dolls down the hole.
LOLLLLLL!
seriously wanna thank him man!
hhaha, else i swear i'd spend more than that and go home hating myself.

ohohoh! i got a domo kun keychain! :DDDD

2009-08-09T01:21:00.001+08:00

three crazy bitches.

2009-08-08T00:18:00.002+08:00

cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute HE IS CUTE!! HE IS CUTE!! HE IS CUTE!! HE IS CUTE!! cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute

2009-08-07T17:54:00.000+08:00

i dontk whad the hell is wrong with me.

anyway, today was supposedly quite a unhappy day.
but cos i saw him today and he's really cute in white and everything (well, to my opinion)
so....

2009-08-06T14:11:00.003+08:00

she's just fucking trying to make our r/s even worse.
who the fuck is the hypocritical one now.

im really very very piss off now,
angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry

2009-08-05T21:30:00.002+08:00

this few days are like... shit?

my head is splitting right now and i feel like vomiting.
training was alright today but i feel really bad to be like bringing the whole team down.
i really must work harder, but, how to find time?
damn, im gonna redo my EoM and ve to pass up by tmr and im gonna start afresh cos i think my source totally suck.

really feeling sick, nausea.

2009-08-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder why i even bothered.

im really feeling very miserable.
and this time i know why.
but it doesnt make it any better.

2009-08-02T01:18:00.002+08:00

im like quite happy today.
even though i really dint get much work done, unlike the interesting looking alien that was with me at the library,
i did read thru the lit notes and spent time with my grandma and aunts.
now at my aunt's house after my cousin's repeated asking me to come over to stay.
lol.
just finished playing tennis, bowling and some other sports on Wii.
haha. trying to burn away all the things ive consumed today.
speaking abt food,
im starting to think of the cute guy at the jap restaurant.
OMG, he's like really cute can!!!!!!!
then i went to msg my frens,
and Ann's reply was to ask me to drop hints, wink at him and write him my number on the receipt.
SO FUNNY CAN~!
i laughed throughout and my family thought i was crazy.
but seriously,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i really wanna know him lahhhhh.
)):

2009-07-30T19:35:00.000+08:00

you dont know just how relieved im.

((:

my whole body aches like mad now, haha.
and WENHAO IS INTERESTING LOOKING, right Mash? :D

hehe.

i saw him today again (:
nah, actually i see him most of the time.
now, he's just someone i see everything passing by.

2009-07-29T21:58:00.001+08:00

im so disappointed.

2009-07-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

THANK GOD IM HOME LIKE FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYY!
hahhaha. im sooooososoosososooooooo glad im home,
in front of my lappy and stealing my bro's food && drinking my mum's soup now :D
today's tiring, well, im more scared outta my wit than tired out.
well, school finished at like 1340 with mr sabar being totally unhappy with our group,
then me going for NAPHA and then getting a shit timing.
im seriously un-fit now y'know =..=
sigh.
so im thinking, i'd just try my best for this week and retest again for next week.
im gonna train and make sure i get good grades.
and seriously,
i know i did say before that im gonna quit and join another CCA like.. innov8 or smth cos i really cant cope with all this shit going on in my life.
but now i think, i really should set my mind to do them all.
rmb i wanna be a teacher?
rmb whad i told myself before i come into IJ?
yes, im gonna do my best in everything and try to score as best as i can.

i really think im starting to really like the VB girls, like alot.
this team, they really ve got bonding and are really friendly esp Val and Theora who kept trying not to make me feel left out.
Thanks babes, like seriously (:
i felt that im a liability to them, but im gonna really work hard, and prove myself wrong.
i must make sure i wont bring the team down.
JIAYOU YUTING (:

i know sometimes im too quiet,
i noticed that too.
i'd try... like really try.

2009-07-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

fuck, i dont like.
i really dont like it.

2009-07-26T16:37:00.000+08:00

this person is totally tarnishing buddhism's reputation and beliefs.
fuck off man.
i hope he get jailed and never come out.

2009-07-25T18:55:00.002+08:00

OMG I JUST SAW MS ONG AT MY MUM'S SHOP T.T
gosh, so scary.

she talks to me abt my work

omgggggggggggggggggggggggg

but honestly, i guess i und whad she meant.
sighs.

2009-07-23T16:13:00.003+08:00

im on the cabby now, jiahui just alighted (:
i really hope everything will be well for her, and that nothings gonna change.
i know things are tough right now darling, aint all lives?
sometimes it gets so tired, we feel like giving up.
thats how i feel most of the time.
i think perhaps, its time to take a break from whadever we're doing.
b'cos giving up is not an option for us, even if you ve a choice,
do not give up.
not giving up will make you miserable and tired, but along the way, you will realised that you 've not only become stronger, you also learnt a lot more things.

so guys, when you re sick of everything, put them aside first and take a break.
do something you like!
after you feel much better, then do you resume your position in life.
cheerup! :D

i love all you guys ((:

JH is so cute when shes being paranoid.
she just sent a sms to me and ask me to look around my surrounding to make sure the uncle dont kidnap me.
HAHA!
thanks love!

♥♥

2009-07-22T20:31:00.002+08:00

JIAHUI:

you're one of those i really love and never wanna see get hurt.
please do not ever hurt yourself, it hurts me to see that.
and i really dont wanna see you cry again.
it wasnt you who made me cry that day,
it was all the pressure.
but i really dont wanna be alone, really.
so please, i beg of you.
please do not leave me there alone.
anything, please do come and find me,

2009-07-22T20:25:00.003+08:00

im so upset with everything thats going on with my life i totally ve got no idea whads up with me.
i finally und whad ppl meant when they said they've got no appetite.
i dont either.
but i kept forcing myself to eat, even when i do, i just ate and ate, not tasting at all.
i felt like a robot.
the food went in, but it kept trying to force its way out.
the urge to puke was so strong, so strong.
even now as im typing this, im trying my best to keep it there.
i really jus wanna live like how i used to.
that once really cheerful girl, wheres she gone to?

i felt trapped,
a nobody;

2009-07-20T20:10:00.002+08:00

where ve my dream gone to?

i used to think im working towards whad i want but im not that sure anymore now.
whad do i want?
do i really wanna be a teacher?
i really love kids, i adoreeeeee teaching,
the feeling of satisfactory when your students und whad you meant,
the way you can change someone's life if you re really passionate and do your job well,
but.
do i have the capability?
looking at my results now, i kinda doubt it.
i really dont wanna lose sight of whad i wan, but halfway thru that journey,
i kinda lost my way.

others ve got dreams.
dreams of becoming a doctor, a lawyer, a singer...
whads gonna become of me?

2009-07-19T16:01:00.001+08:00

i really dontk whad i can do to make ppl understand.
to let them stop hurting anymore...

i feel so fcuking disheartened everytime after all these shit.

2009-07-18T10:07:00.002+08:00

as usual, im really late and slow in my infomation.
ive got no idea and no interest whadsoever in Michael Jackson.
but it was until recently then did i realised that it was him who sang You Are Not Alone and it was a really great song.
and i found this,

Lisa Marie Presley: Michael Jackson Knew…

He Knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can’t recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, “I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did.”

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn’t predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not “a sham” as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a “Normal life” found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to “save him” I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn’t know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson’s being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.

I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP

its really saddening, i can almost imagine how she felt.

2009-07-16T22:50:00.002+08:00

TODAY:
totally tiresome day, but quite productive.
my feet re so having blisters alrdy, sighs, i wish vb would buy the shoes quicker, then i wont be running in sneakers anymore. (plus my sneakers are so worn i think its falling apart soon)
i really ve got very very poor time management, and very poor money management too -.-"

anw, today got me quite pissed off.
i dont und how come ppl this age can be so childish, not childlike, but CHILDISH.
ugh, this whole thing initially was really cute, really fun, but seriously,
the whole idea is getting out of hand.
and i really cant stand ppl being so braggy.
i dontk why, i do love all these ppl,
so why cant i just bear with their nonsense?

tiring....

TOMORROW ORALLLLLL T.T
im so scared.
and i haven done the two econs essay yet.
so im gonna try to attempt it later.
its 11 o'clock now and i just reached home not long before.
sighs.
24hours is so not enough for a day.

2009-07-15T23:29:00.002+08:00

14th Jul '09

we had peer appraisal ytd, felt really down,
idk why, i just ve got the feeling they dont think ive done any work,
but seriously, i did put in much effort.
ugh, whadever.
piss.

got really panicky when i realised im in deep shit,
my results,
my life.
everything's pretty much screwed up.
went back to my old habit which im trying to kick, (jiahui pls note: you too)
felt really insignificant, asiv im a nobody.
ytd was damn fucking down,
feeling so low that i felt asiv the whole world is gonna crash.
okay, you might say im being exaggerated, but thats how bad i felt ytd.
i called Girlf, and amazingly, she was on her way home too.
sooooo i FINALLY met her! :D
felt really much better after i went home.
((: thanks darling.

the one comforting fact that reassures me in this damn glommy period-
my frens.
i really love Girlf and Darling Aline.
not forgetting Jiahui and the clique. (Arielle and Ann! Mash, YY and Buve!)
love them all.
Thanks Girlf and Darling for being there ♥♥
i know every one of us have got tough times, but you guys were always there (:
Jiahui: Thankyou for all the time we're tgt talking and gossipping. you and your lameness nvr fails to amaze me. LOL! ♥
Arielle and Ann: Thankyou for being there and being such a good fren to me! i wish i can be a good fren to you too (: i love you guys.
Mash, YY and Buve: you guys are great tooooooo! haha. totally funny, esp YY! though you were so quiet all the time, when you do open your mouth, you really stun us into silence with your wit! haha. Mash, you ve been a great PW mate! love you the most there! ^^

♥
♥
♥
♥

i hope and sincerely wish everyone is happy.

feeling very unwell.

H1N1?

2009-07-13T20:53:00.002+08:00

i vow im gonna try to be a goodgirl from today on.

im freaking piss with the damn doc!
who does he think he is huh, to criticize me in this manner!
i mean, he dint really say anything, but the way he speak, its seriously damn patronizing and sarcastic. i was so damn angry okay!
how could any doc say this?
how can he even suggest i go to ITE when he dont even know me?
fuck.

deep down i know that i had reacted how i react is bcos he's hit the bull's eye.

2009-07-12T22:43:00.001+08:00

一条路再怎么平再怎么直走着走着也会被小石头小树枝绊倒
但是以你们两个人的力量可不可以把石头和树枝移开呢？

一切在于 “天下无难事，只怕有心人。”

2009-07-12T19:57:00.002+08:00

i so did not forget you.
i wonder, if you do know that many a times my posts were about you?
if you know that you, or rather us, were the cause of my feeling really down which somehow would end up in some idiotic things i'd do?
if you know that i really really wish and hope we'd be like how we re last time,
but im really really scared and afraid it wouldnt be,
so scared that i dont even dare to try, to even give our 12year friendship a chance to fail?
i know it seems cowardly, but i'm bearing this tiny hope that if i can run away from doing anything, it might just stay at where we left off-
those nights where i'd jus go to your house randomly and stay there, doing practically nothing, talking about practically anything.

im afraid, im really scared that if we were to meet again,
will we be the same as we once were?
will we?

im really sorry i dint ask you to come over that day when i obviously could.
im really scared.

deep down, i know i really love you,
thats why i will always read your post first whenever you posted something.
but sometimes i really cant bring myself to tag you.
i wanna let you know i still care,
but i felt as if tagging and asking abt your life and commenting and stuff,
all these make me feel too much of an outsider and not someone you love and love you.

i dontk whad to do..

2009-07-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

im feeling so much pain,
it's killing me.

2009-07-10T15:46:00.004+08:00

just yesterday ive been so happy, feeling so lucky.
and whad happened?
today aint that bad, but it aint good either.

i had been dreading ytd, like seriously,
thats why i ran away from it instead.
but it turned out that i ve to face it today.
darn.
and, the worst result came out, i was feeling really down but i kinda expected it.

honestly, i really really hate her.
hate her smugness,
hate her for not admitting that she's wrong,
hate her for acting as if she's innocent,
hate her for every single thing.
she loves to win and i seriously cant stand that.
i did told her whad i want,
im sure she heard,
and she dint adhere to my wishes (this is my privacy man!)
so whad do i do?
i hate her even more.
fuck off you bitch,
'm not gonna tolerate you anymore, for anything in the world.

OH YEA!
guys, i forgot whether i did intro to you NATO or not,
but NATO is the "group" that the clique of ours formed.
Not Another Trashy Organisation
and the bunch of us made jackets to so called symbolised our bond and unity.
haha, and guys whad?
the rest of my class decided to start a WarSaw pact.
=.=
made us laugh out loud man!
anw, if you guys dont get the joke, go look up on the hist between NATO and Warsaw pact.
seriously, childish as it may seem, i think a war is gonna start within our class soon :D

PS! i got back 2 of my results alrdy.
as expected math is the only subject i passed (so far, i hope)
i failed my chinese ):

YUTING PROMISES SHE'll START TODAY;

PPS! im sorry to Jiahui for making you angry!
but i know you love me and wont stay angry for long right? :D

2009-07-09T11:40:00.003+08:00

YESTERDAY

fell aslp almost once i reached home (well, not after i finish bathing and stuff)
and i fell aslp all the way till this morning at 6.
okay, i did woke up at 8plus, but that was only to apologise to aline sleepily before i zonked off onto my bed- again.
haha. well, i was sooooo tired from the previous night from playing with Microsoft Excel and trying my damnest to make graphs and charts outta it.
and since im that computer idiot, ive got no idea how to operate it even though ive been through like 10000 sessions of this Excel thingy in poly, i guess you aint suprised when i tell you that i slpt at 4am cos of that?
i was really guilty abt falling aslp cos i was supposed to meet aline for gym, but that dint stop me from falling straight to slp once i hung up. i guess things are really wearing me out.
anw, i woke up today with a headache and so.........
off to doc i went.
now im in the library trying my hardest to concentrate and do my work but its jus sooooooo cold!
im in my NATO jacket yet the cold still get to me, this is so shitty.

cold.
cold.
cold.

this is pretty much everything i can think of right now.
oh no.
not this only.
aline jus sms me a few min ago and ask me to join her sister and her for sakae tmr,
and i know its really tempting but seriously, she ALWAYS ask at the wrong time.
im damn damn broke to hell right now.

speaking about money....
im thinking of buying my bro a (SECRET) but ive got no idea if he'll like it.
anw guys!
its my bro's bday today :D

FOO HONG MING!
he's the dumbest bro anyone can get.
but on a more serious note, he can be really sweet when he wants to be.
i know i aint the best sister,
but i do love my siblings.
and i do love him ((:
so dont you anyone dare to bully him okay!

im hungry, damn.

2009-07-08T01:00:00.001+08:00

"you know 12:34:56 7/8/9 (time and date) just passed?"

so cool right! thankyou shaun.w for telling me that. :DD

2009-07-06T22:53:00.003+08:00

today is a fucking damn shit day.

the only consolation is that the morning was okay (though i blame myself for neglecting some)
and that shaun was really sweet (thanks alot, like seriously)
and i saw him again- i swear it was coincidental.

2009-07-05T00:25:00.001+08:00

i wishh i wishh and i wishh..

2009-07-04T17:29:00.002+08:00

THIS IS MY CAMWHORE PARTNER :DDDDD
pretty huh?

this is the one that i really think she's pretty but i look so shitty there that i totally scrapped of my face, LOL.

2009-07-04T00:00:00.003+08:00

im not sure if im supposed to feel happy for them or feel threatened.

HELLLLLLLLLO EVERYONE!
im really happppppppy today, or should i say elated would be a better word for it.

anw, its been sooooo long since the last time some decent person asked me,
and im pretty happy, though i dint reply at all :D
okay fine, they dint really ask but still, urgh, whadever.
'm still happy.

then proceed to aline's house whereby we were supposed to be going to gym,
BUT somehow we both ended up in her living room playing with makeup, giggling and camwhoring like lil girls.
soooooooo fun.
actually this crazy (well, not so crazy but y'know.......) idea was thought up by me,
cos i realised that we (aline and me) have never done anything girly together,
eg. having doll up and gone shopping tgt, pyjamas party (?), etc
photos will be posted later on :DDDDDDDDD
anw, i think aline looks reallllllyyy pretty today *grins* (and of cos she'll look pretty, i'd got a part in it too okay! hahaha.)

so i was on my way back and i saw this really cute guy
BUT SADLY,
he's in a cab,
LOOKING DOWN at his phone.
so yea.
LOL!

whadever. i know im being random but still?

and to top it off, pengwei did smth that im really proud of!
love him loads!! :DD

been walking home and kept thinking abt you.
kept thinking abt all the time we haven been tgt,
have you missed me at all?
i can really see you''re having fun, and im really glad,
but.
why do i still feel asiv i should ve been happier for you?
the rabbit i bought is still hanging on my bag along with my bear.
and bearbear is alrdy growing dirty, it only proves how long i haven seen you.
so when, oh just when, will i be able to pass rabbit to you?

i only wish i had the courage to tell you i really do love you.

2009-07-02T21:16:00.002+08:00

haha, i was telling jiahui why i sms random messages out today.
idk why, but ive got this theory, or rather, thinking that if one fine day one of my frens were to be really upset and depressed, and just nice i send out these sms-es,
i really hope i can cheer them up (:

iya, wishful thinking but i really hope some of these messages will get to someone.
idk, but i hope someone will read and realised how lucky or fortunate they are.

♥

2009-07-02T20:40:00.002+08:00

GOAT FARM TRIP CANCELLLLLED DUE TO EVERYONE (or almost everyone) NOT BEING FREE AND PEOPLE HAVING FLU.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i feel like vomiting.

im sure i flunk my hist, having to stare at the paper after writing the first para all the way to the end when the teacher shouted,"pens down".
'm now just praying hard that the rest will be okay.

feel like puking, unwell i guess.

i really do love zon, he's my cousin and he's really sweet and all, but well, to a certain extend.
sometimes, jus sometimes, i really cant stand him and his way of condemning everyone he sees. (other than the person he likes huh?)

there's always a limit to how much a person can take

2009-07-01T17:43:00.000+08:00

'm on the bus now,
my sis think that she saw jestyn -.-

2009-07-01T16:14:00.001+08:00

sighs, screwed up-

whad m i supposed to do?

2009-06-30T21:41:00.000+08:00

"you not afraid of death because you know i will protect you from it" JIAHUI♥

so sweeeeet right :D

2009-06-30T21:02:00.001+08:00

2009-06-30T20:06:00.000+08:00

Thankyou Arielle,
its really nice to have someone to acc (:

i wouldnt dare to go alone.

2009-06-29T20:56:00.002+08:00

jus quarrel with my mum abt dinner.
damn unreasonable.
i alrdy told them i dont wanna eat, but she forced me to wake up.
of cos i'd get piss off lah.
urgh, no point arguing cos in the end its stil my fault, shit ass.

unhappy, the one thing that motivated me thru'out the whole of last week has been found out a fraud, like totally.
sighhhs.
lucky arielle read and she dint help.

2009-06-29T18:18:00.001+08:00

PS. guys, next time if there's anything extra to bring to an exam hall, PLEASE DO REMIND ME!!
T.T
i dint bring dictionary today and i think 'm gonna flunk my compo BADLY.

2009-06-29T16:50:00.002+08:00

HELLLLLLLLO EVERYONE!
since there's alot of peeps who complain that i alwayyyyyys post emo stuffs,
lets look at some HAPPY things today :D

TWO PAPERS DOWN!
i think i've got like, FOUR more papers to go.
math, econs, lit and hist. URGH,
three of my worst subjects, i really hope we could just finish them in a day and not dilly dally all the way till thurs.
but whad to do? the school likes it and we've got no say.
im like sooooo looking forward to our NATO outing to GOAT FARM!!!!!!!!
BWAHAHAHHAA.
its my idea to go goats farm cos i haven been there since... i dontk how long.
really miss goat milk :D

okay, had told myself that i'd go to school EARLLLLLYY today to go running, or rather jogging.
and i woke up at four plus.
but guess whad people,
i reach school just as the bell rang AND in a cab.
=.-
apparently this stupid idiot totally forgot whad time she's supposed to go out of her house after her one whole month of hols. (when i reached school, i even realised i forgot some of my frens' names -.- lucky they dint walk past and say hi or anything)
so i woke up at 4plus and took my time to do everything and eventually look at the clock and goes, "its 7!"
then i was like thinking to myself how time flies and stuff without realising that if i dont get out by 7, i'd be late alrdy.
and, i nearly was, cos i got out at like, 7.30?

i spent like 22bucks on cab and so i've got like no more money to eat anymore.
sighhhhhhhhhs.
and the cab uncle kept emphasizing, "WHA. its really very expensive y'know!"
yes uncle i know, so please stop saying that cos my heart really aches while pulling out the money and by you emphasizing that its ex doesnt help at all.

LOL.
so 'm not being emo today.
well, not really (:

2009-06-28T05:59:00.002+08:00

thought we were good frens, well, perhaps i should think again.
bought a rose for you, wanted to put it at your doorstep right before the clock strike twelve and your eighteenth bday will be over.
but after knowing how insignificant i was to you, i guess i should just keep that rose.
had naviely thought we could be frens all over again,
well, i guess not.

my wish to you for your eighteenth birthday:
i hope you'll wake up and realize whad you should ve done.
who you should let go and who you should really cherish.
all the best to the both of us in this terrible journey of school.

2009-06-26T01:53:00.002+08:00

i dont know why im wasting so much tears here when i'm supposed to be studying.
but im really feeling so alone, so so alone.
where have they all gone to, i've got no idea.
really feel very depressed, very scared, very unhappy.

ever since young, i've always been scared to be alone.
i dont like the feeling of loneliness,
the knowledge that you're unwanted,
you've been dumped,
you're unloved.
i really really loathe that kinda feeling,
and i always will do everything so i dont ve to feel this anymore.
but, why m i back to where i dont wanna be again?

the feeling's overwhelming.
too strong;
too scary.
im just not ready.

2009-06-26T01:18:00.002+08:00

sometimes listening to them talk abt going off to some other places really got me pretty upset.
i should be congratulating them, but whad m i doing?
i jus kept quiet sitting there and listen.
in my heart, it kinda hurts. the way they talk abt it asiv whad they are about to do has got nothing to do with me, and it doesnt affect me in any way at all.
but i jus sat there, and smile along at every appropriate places and laugh when they made jokes.
i really wonder though, will i still be so calm when sending them off at the airport with the knowledge that i'd only be able to see them 2 or 3 years later?
will i still jus sit there and smile?
there's nothing i can do, but i really hope you do und that i really dont wanna see you go off.
i dont know why but i've got the feeling that you dont really care much.
wheres all the promises of ours, the smiles and tears when we promised each other we'd be frens forever?
why, oh why, do we seem so distant, so in our own world even though we're just living so near each other?
do you know i really miss the closeness we used to have?
do you know i really did miss you when you went back to your homeland and i do know that you're coming back?
whad will happen if one fine day you jus fly off to US, whad m i supposed to do?
i've alrdy grown accustomed to you, to talking to you whenever i feel down, to call you every single time when i see something interesting or some cute guys walking pass.
who m i supposed to call after you're gone?
who will be the one that i go to whenever i've got any probs?
i know i've got other frens but,
i really will miss you alot y'know.

but if you mus know, all those times we've spent tgt wont go to waste.
i promise i'd keep them close to my heart,
and they'll always ve a place there no matter whad.

2009-06-25T00:56:00.000+08:00

my bro jus got raped.
photos will be posted on the next post.

2009-06-23T23:43:00.004+08:00

this camp was a success, considering how many people LOVEEEEEE it.
but personally i love this camp more than last year's cos it's more organised, but i really love polar much much more than bimbo.
lol.
'm not being bias or anything but i've really tried my best during camp, but i felt i really failed completely, totally, as a leader.
polar was much easier to handle, not that EVERYONE was cooperative, but bcos most of them knew my limit and would stop talking at once when i said stop.
and everyone were so... bonded. i love it when they cheered so loudly tgt.
but bimbo.... is a totally different case.
they're sweet as in they'll apologise after they pissed me off, but its jus different, really different.
bcos after that, they'll still be back to their former selves and start gossiping and talking in their own cliques.
i know i cant blame them cos they're really young.
but i was really really tired, cos the rest aint helping. (ppl who talked to me should know who 'm referring to)
they only gave me more headaches than i could take,
talking to my members when 'm talking, interrupting me when 'm speaking AND repeating exactly whad i was saying (like, whad the hell?)
i got really down i actually cried once (THANK GOD sissy was there to comfort me) and i actually went to ask blven and yuwan (who were my ex-polar members) if i make a bad leader.
i was feeling real crappy and unhappy with myself y'know.
and both reassured me that 'm not a bad one.

really love my sis who looked at me as if i was being really ridiculous and said, "Jie, you can never be a bad leader you know."
really love them all.
i wanna say sorry to all those whom i showed my black face to, and thanks to all who tried to help me with my group.
special thanks to meimei, nida(for cheering our grp on even though some ppl in my grp aint very very appreciative), blven, hongming, yiliang, zihui.

first day when the campers came, the whole atmosphere was like WOAH.
everyone so solemn, nobody speak or even move a muscle while the chairman talk to them.
but after a short briefing from aaron, all the leaders started to ziHIGH so that everyone will be more hyper and not jus sitting there feeling awkward.
initiation was tons of fun, disturbing everyone.
but its really tough bringing them up and down and listening to ppl saying they love him more than me is really.. heartbreaking. considering the fact that i put in soooooo much and he jus crap shit with them. (PS. really love nick during initiation cos he's one of those who were on my side then)

this is one of the pose the game masters made my poor Bimbos do during the station.
they look like prisoner-of-wars or smth.

second day came and he went off.
i was left alone with the group with her.
it was much better, but having to put in effort for them and not being appreciated in the least really got me pretty unhappy, i tried not to let it show on my face though.
i guess the last straw was when everyone took it for granted i'd be doing everything for them yet nobody bother to say please or thanks, that was when i jus totally lost it and nearly burst out crying.
thank god i dint (:
JAM AND HOP is soooooooooooo fun!
i mean nobody would thought that buddhist camp will ve dancing.
but.. woahhhhhhhhhhhh!
damn highhhhhhhh only :DDDDDDDDD

but y'know whad, 'm really proud of bimbo on the very last day.
they really cheered so well, i nearly cried.
though we dint come in first, im sure they did do their best that very day.
misses.
(thanks to nicholas, shuyi, mankit and hongming who cheered very loud for bimbo)

during this camp, i guess i learn a few things-
like how to tolerate some idiots, and to love Bimbo more.

i mean, everyone has got flaws right? i noe i have many of them, so i should put up with others too.
and though i had so many things 'm unhappy abt the camp,
im starting to miss them alrdy.
the people i got to know and know more....
sighs.
i wish school aint starting anytime soon.

this is AMANDA! she's my sweetest love :D

EVERYONE SMILE!

My two bimbotic bimbos.

whad does he think he's doing anw?

:D

:DDDDDDDDDDDD

2009-06-23T23:07:00.002+08:00

've just finished reading 2books,
but this particular book "South beach" makes me particularly nostalgic, thinking back and missing my frens and times i spent with my used-to-be-close-frens.
'm really kinda missing jiayi again, sighs.

this is whad one of the character say though, "You know whad? I still believe in forever. We might not be the best of friends anymore, Hol, but we'll always be in each other's lives in some way. No matter whad."
"Yea, i used to think of you as the sister i never had, and maybe its still true in a way. I mean we'll bicker and fight and be apart from each other... but none of that really makes a differnce in the end, just like siters, right?"

this is exactly how i feel, but i dont know how my frens feel.
like how me and jiayi are, like how aixia and me kinda lost touch even though we're in the same school.
whad actually did happen? i aint sure either.

this book is pretty much about how two girls who used to be really really good frens fell apart and grew distant for like 3 years. then they went on this vacation tgt bcos there was no one elses to go with and in the end they kinda got bonded again.
its pretty cool if you like to read abt high school and stuff so yea.
((:

next post will be totally abt the camp so yea.
stay tune! :D

2009-06-22T23:00:00.003+08:00

just back from YBC camp-
'm currently missing camp, and also polar.
LOL, of all things, polar.
shall update the photos and things abt camp ltr on ((:

got this from phanida's blog.
really like it.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” - The Buddha

2009-06-17T00:46:00.000+08:00

sent out 5msg-long sms out to all my group members.
gonna call those who dint reply tmr.
im so tired ):
and aline still haven reply any of my sms or msg yet.
hope she's safely reached indo.

2009-06-15T22:36:00.001+08:00

gonna pack for camp today.
not gonna be free from tmr onwards and i ve not start studying!
OMG SHIT.
im so seriously dead.

2009-06-14T22:38:00.004+08:00

YBC meeting today,
aint as weird as usual, kinda got used to the feeling alrdy.
anw, saw many of them and seriously, people do change over time.
well, everyone did change in some ways or other,
but Jorge never did. lol.
looking forward to the camp.
thurs!

2009-06-12T20:08:00.005+08:00

camwhore

me&aline

this is damn cool lah, but its a view i can nvr see in real life

they re my kids :DD

the three sweetest girls in my p4 class

me and sissy ((:

2009-06-12T17:37:00.002+08:00

really love this blogskin,
its just that inserting nuffnang this way is really weird.
lol,
im so tired with life,
with me running away from everything, everyone.
but i cant seem to pluck up the courage and have the energy to face everything at all.
feel like a failure.
sighs.

had COP at Marsiling Pri again today.
i'd miss those adorable kids.
):
julieana made a dice for both me and mash.
though it wasnt a lot, but i really appreciate that lil thought.

i've alrdy forgotten the feeling of being loved.

2009-06-12T16:45:00.001+08:00

to keep running away isn't a solution either.
im currently contemplating if i should jus give up completely.

2009-06-11T20:46:00.001+08:00

hate PW, super tired now.
dk if i'd have the strength to get up at 5plus tmr.

2009-06-11T20:43:00.001+08:00

i just saw a naked dead bird.

2009-06-08T19:28:00.000+08:00

super not happy.
fcuking moody, dont noe why.

2009-06-04T00:35:00.001+08:00

sometimes in life,

there'll be ppl whom you dont und

and things that doesnt go your way.

but believe in Fate and God,

i know that they re fair.

you must never give up on

whadever you believe in

just bcos of some little obstacles.

one fine day when you finally made it,

you'd realised that everything

that happened happens for a reason.

that is- to make you even stronger. ♥

2009-06-04T00:00:00.002+08:00

today has been great!
i really love working out at gym, esp when you've got your fren to acc and there's nobody elses ard to watch you.
whads more, there's even tv channels to entertain you while you sweat your ass off on the threadmill! :DD
was watching red thread and dont forget the lyrics.
so cool lah! that girl practically knows all the songs!
i was laughing and cheering for her while jogging,
and i bet that if theres anyone there, they'd prob think that aline and me are some crazy bunch of idiots. (BUT i dont care)
MWAAHHAHAAAAAAAA.

anw, gonna meet up with her tmr again!
woots!!!!!!!!

sometimes, loving someone means you ve to let go...

2009-06-01T23:58:00.002+08:00

TODAY♥

i finally had my piercing!
:DDD
well, its not like whad i really wanted, cos of the structure of my ear,
the piercing isnt as obvious as it should be.
but its okay, im still happy. *GRINS*
anw, it was alan who acc me to 77th street to pierce and that idiot keep wanting to buy ZIPPO lighter and that was when i kinda guesses the other secret.

went home after a short workout at alan's,
(that was when i realised there's someone who has got an appetite as BIG as mine- he ate TWO packets of noodles, his and his poor sissy's, but thats not enough, he still went to the fridge to bring the yam cake to eat! well, he's really my match!)
showered and sat at my lappy to watch K.O.3.

started preparing to meet up with pengwei to go queensway for my contact lens,
BUT WTH, i forgot to check my phone and he missed call and texted me,
all of which i dint notice and thus, he went home.
so... I DINT GET MY CONTACTS TODAYYYYYYY! *dramatic sighs*

and, i jus planned out my schedule for the hols,
with a start, i realised i really really really am very busy,
dont even feel asiv ive any breathing space.
wonder how the rest are doing, guess they're better off than me.
first off, they do NOT have to help out at their parents' shop.
but then again, they do have pre-U sem yea?
im jus plain tired just looking at the schedule for this hols.
after calculating, i only have got like 3 or 4days to study, y' know?
thats just how pathetically hectic nowadays' school students are.

alright, i better go slp right now.
i've got to tend my parents' shop tmr, and im gonna try and wake up in the wee hours when everyone's slping to do my morning jog,
afterall, aline, we've got a bet we made...

:D

2009-05-31T23:07:00.001+08:00

super upset.
iwanmyfrensback.
imissjiayi.
alot.
andeveryoneelse.
superunhappy.

2009-05-30T01:05:00.003+08:00

i hope halim will be okay..
i noe its too late to say all these,
but i was alrdy thinking of going back to work,
even though he always disturb me, tease me and make fun of me,
he's the one whos always trying to make me feel at ease,
making sure i wont be left out, or carrying the heavy stuff.
i noe there re times i got really angry with him for keep teasing me abt some stuffs,
but now i really wish he'll be back,
i promise i wont get angry with you anymore.
i really hope this is jus a joke, a prank,
and the hosp dint called.

2009-05-30T00:11:00.003+08:00

do you noe?
i feel so helpless everytime i hear my frens' cries,
see their tear-stained face but i jus dont noe how to help.
i feel asiv im in another world, another planet where i dont und everyone's pain,
and even if i could,
i can do nothing at all to help.
im so fcuking stupid, so dumb, so weak,

so powerless...

2009-05-30T00:06:00.002+08:00

I really feel very upset now
why is it I always feel like I am insignificant to her?
Like I am always the last person she'd call
The last person she'll find when she needs
And being forgotten most times.
Like she never mean it when she said she missed me.

Friends should be truthful to each other
and I really wanna tell you this
I can't bring myself to...
Perhaps, you don't even care.

i dont know why nobody believes that im true to them,
that i really love them,
that i really miss them and not jus find them when i need them.
this isnt the first time alrdy.
girl, i really do love you, but you wouldnt believe.
i've alrdy done all i can do to takecare of you all,
but if thats how you guys feel of me,
i really dont noe whad else to do anymore.

i think ive alrdy put in my utmost effort.

2009-05-27T23:53:00.002+08:00

i really wish that when ppl i love are unhappy they'll share with me,
but seems like nobody really bother.

i miss everyone.
and i really really am touched by the show.

2009-05-27T23:49:00.001+08:00

微笑 Pasta
go watch. honestly, this is really sweeeet.

2009-05-26T19:17:00.001+08:00

today is called the UPSET DAY,

2009-05-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

unhappiness towards myself.

2009-05-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

sad, i really thought at least one of them will be interested in going with me to YBC camp but..
apparently none of them will..

2009-05-24T21:43:00.002+08:00

im jus homed, so now im gonna go bathe and then go start on my PW,
then hist and econs.
and then i'd study on literature.
i really really wanna bathe but somehow the toilet is occupied and my idiotic sister is singing her lungs out inside there.
lol.
anw, i jus rmb my fren telling me that some others got really horrorified after reading some of my posts, lol, okay, i shall try to abstain from posting this kinda things alrdy. (:
its jus that i really wanna post whadever i feel.

alright, shant talk anymore, go bathe.

BYE!
loves

ps. jiayou ann! we can do it together de!
no matter how tough it is, im sure we'd be able to overcome it together ((:

2009-05-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

im on a mission,

jiayou yuting. ((:

2009-05-23T23:54:00.005+08:00

haha, first, ive got some things to share with you guys,
some facts that i've kinda found out after my convo with the gang;
namely, aline, carmen and lucas.
:D

- barbie dolls can never pee nor fuck; (so think, where do kelly(s) come from?)

- aline enjoy and look forward to watching hi5 even at the age of 16, sec4.

there re still others, but i cant really rmb alrdy.

hahahha, i dint really enjoy as much compared to when i went to the art fest,
but i still ve to agree, JJ really do noe how to host an event (just that the guy MC really dont noe how to speak at all, i dint und any one sentence of his; so yea, please choose your MCs wisely next time!)

the ppl there at nice and i saw howsun!
he's still so tall and..... idk, he seems to be growing taller each time i see him,
i think one fine day he's gonna catch up with lucas.
anw, i kept an eye out for shuai ge(s) and there isnt much.
but i saw a guy, who though isnt shuai nor cute, i think he kinda stood out from the rest :DD
iyo, i like leh, but aline wanna vomit, so... yea.
sighs.
ALINE GO FIND HIS FB. you owe me! hahahhahahhahaa.

well, nighty nights guys,
i love you all,
and i noe you love me as well :D
hugs~~

2009-05-22T10:07:00.002+08:00

im really happy for my darling to be okay with her frens alrdy,
they seem so close, she's so cheerful.
though sometimes..
perhaps its jus my selfishness,
i'd start feeling lonely and hope she's still mine,
and mine only.

2009-05-22T10:06:00.000+08:00

why is she like that?
i thought im her fren.

well, apparently, not really true.

2009-05-21T23:34:00.001+08:00

theres alot in life that i want, and one of them is you.

where exactly are you?

2009-05-21T22:18:00.002+08:00

we had such a crazy day~

TWO TESTS TODAY, im so slpy and they are seriously totally hard questions.
*pathetic sighhhhhh*
i feel like im pregnant.
i ate sooooo much that right now i wanna vomit.
everyday.
happy sad angry jealous, whadever fucking reason, eat.
fuck fuck fuck.
i feel like im 1000000000000kg now.

2009-05-20T21:12:00.008+08:00

THIS SHOW IS DAMN COOL; GO WATCH IT!
honestly. haha. i noe i abit slow, since its been up for so long but.. :DDDD

kawwaiiiii!

kim beom- extremely cute!

kim hyun joong- superrr sweet in the show! <3

lee min ho- EXTREMELY SHUAI without the curly pile of thingy on his head.
i love his kind of character in the show,

overall, the show is great!
really recommend this. ((:

NOTE: sorry to those who really like hyung, i dint post him here.
if you really wanna noe why, thats cos i really dont like him and think that he's jus a calefare, who only pop out there to show his face and he's not even shuai!
hahaha, im sorry, i sound so mean.

2009-05-20T20:26:00.001+08:00

i have never knew life is this painful.

2009-05-19T22:42:00.002+08:00

its really tough to type with just one left hand but i'd still make do with it first since i am really v v v v angry and my right hand is numb and swollen.
wonder wtf happened eh?
fuck that bastard, fuck him.
one fine day i swear i going to sue him for child abuse.

shit, i jus researched, im over 16 not considered as child anymore.

2009-05-19T18:30:00.002+08:00

im glad she told me all that, cos it make me und her better.

(:

feeling a lil depressed this few days, perhaps weeks?
idk how long this feeling's been with me alrdy.
doing alot of things i noe im gonna regret after,
but if they really do make me feel better that very instant,
why cant i do it?
thought of him today.
been so long since he crossed my mind, wondering how he is doing right now?
he'd probably laugh at me, at the state im at now,
doing the thing we had discussed,
abt how stupid it was that our fren's doing it,
and i rmbed you making me promise never to do it again.
does that promise still count? i wonder.
the pain's hurting me so much,
that the scar thats left behind doesnt really mean anything, anymore.

2009-05-19T01:01:00.000+08:00

doing my work now.
i hope i'd just keep it up.
JIAYOU YUTING, 加油!

2009-05-18T13:14:00.003+08:00

in order to get stronger,
in order to find something that is truly yours,
there re steps that you must pass.

to get a pottery to be real strong,
it has to be stepped on, rolled over and cut on.
it has to also endure a heat of 1300 degree.
and if it still doesnt become yours even after all that hatdship,
you have to give up completely on it.

2009-05-18T11:14:00.002+08:00

if i can choose, i'd choose to give up.
but i cant, and im really glad ive got my frens who kept cheering me on,
i really dont noe whad i'd do without them, seriously.

went to the doc's today.
i was down with sorethroat and headache and i spent 16bucks at the poly clinic.
this is the first time i spent so much at a polyclinic and bcos of myself.
i dumbly told the doc i need phlegm's medicine (well, i do need but..... it'll go away soon w/o med right? ): ) so as dumb as i am, i told the doc that and she kindly gave me the med AND GUESS WHAD, the total bill is 16bucks thanks to the stupid med.
you noe, actually my consultation PLUS sorethroat med cost me only $5.90 and bcos of my dumbness, i got another useless med which is ard 8bucks.

but one more thing that really cheered me up is the doc,
she's really sweet and i really like her alot.
she started talking to me, asking me where im studying and stuffs
so i told her.
she asked me to take care and she was like mumbling to herself,
"i really do hope you'll get well soon, you noe."
OMG! i smiled to myself.
she's jus so sweet lah.
the way she talk its asiv she became a doc not bcos of the glory and stuffs
but bcos she really wants everyone to be well and happy,
i hope i'd meet more docs likdat.

i wanna be like her.

2009-05-15T23:52:00.003+08:00

im crazy, i dont wanna go home so i walked round and round clementi for more than 4rounds.
crossed the road from ntuc to jiayi's side and crossed back again.
ppl mus think im nuts, well, i pretty much can be considered one.
lol,
LUCKILY zhenlong came to acc me, else i'd be walking the fifth round of clementi.

2009-05-15T16:45:00.002+08:00

my lappy's left with like 20min, and i hope by the time it die down,
the rain would ve stopped; training has started. ((:

we're all waiting for the rain to stop right now, sitting in the canteen.
im feeling better, much better,

OUCH, i jus got hit by the ball. LOL!
but im okay! :D

anw, i was saying, im feeling happier,
cos due to the fact that i dint wear my contacts today,
i cant see anything,
thus im not that that self conscious, not that shy.
i dint noe why though, like no link right.
HAHAHA.

im bored~
and im really obsessed with restaurant city now :DDDDDDD

2009-05-15T00:53:00.001+08:00

i've got 5 undone assignments and whad am i doing?
bloghopping.
and whad do i get?
being emo again- after reading jiahui and josh ang's blog.
i dont noe why everyone's feeling so under the weather nowadays.
i hate life-

2009-05-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

was thinking about it when going home bcos i was feeling so low.
but now im quite glad i dint,
cos i dont wan so many markings of the unhappy memories.

im really worried about jiayi,
dont noe whad happened. ):

2009-05-13T20:41:00.002+08:00

super upset jus now.
talked to girlfren and i nearly cry, like theres alrdy tears in my eyes.
imagine buve's horror.
LOL!
idk lah, i was damn upset.
i really wanna go to training, but my eyes hurt.
and... honestly, i really scared and dread training ):
i jus cant seem to get anything right, and im so lousy.
sighs.
i really really wonder whads up with jiayi.
))):